Nothing to declare officer… Oh..

There are a few rules when you pass a police checkpoint. Follow the instructions you are given, clearly and precisely. Don’t say anything which might lead an officer to become suspicious.

So we left El Bolson in the Andes. I previously stated that it is a bit of a hippie town so you could understand why a police checkpoint down the road might have reason to employ a sniffer dog to ensure the highway isnt used as a trafficking route for Marijuana.

Now, I was lead to believe that sniffer dogs were highly trained instruments, unphased by something as insignificant as a chorizo sausage. It would appear not. So on picking up an interesting smell in the boot of our hire car (chorizo) our belongings were hauled out and our last possession strewn out across the road and combed finely for incriminating evidence. For some reason unknown, I then decided, in a thoughtless “trying to break the ice” manner, it would be a good idea to mention that I USED to smoke weed and that it was a few years ago and I dont do it any more. Bad move. It was approximately an hour later after having been searched “thoroughly” we were allowed to scrape our stuff up and get back on our way. Needless to say I was full of apologies and regret. Hindsight (common sense) is a wonderful thing.

On the ferry down south into Chile I found a chap from Colorado who believe it or not had a horses tooth tattoed on his leg. It is actually the shape of the mountain range that he lives near and cooincidentally happens to look like a horses tooth. I got a picture of my horses tooth next to his tattoo of a horses tooth. I told some people I met about that. I wonder why people think thats weird.

I guess most people have seen a glacier on TV. Its the big, jagged lump of impressive, bluey coloured ice that breaks away in gigantic pieces causing mini tsunamis . To see the Perito Morena Glacier in Argentinas Patagonia in the flesh is a bit like being at Disney Land. It could well be just a right big piece of fibre glass with a bag full of special effects all over it. I havent been to Disney Land, but I was told so by Courtney from Colorado (incidentally the girlfriend of Joe…the chap who´s horses tooth shaped tattoo I took a pic of with my horses tooth) Its mighty surreal and although it rained as if we were in the UK it was still incredible.

On the way back into Chile from Argentina, we had to go through the checkpoint and declare whether we had any organic materials including fruit and veg. I left my guitar case on the bus which was mistake number one. The officials dragged it, bouncing down the steps of the bus along with some other hand luggage, to the inspection area. He called me over to go through my rucksack…deja vu. I was then asked if I had any fruit to which I replied no. He then asked me if I was sure. I said I was sure, I hadnt had any fruit for days. He asked me again if I was sure. Again I answered yes. Once more he asked and again I said confidently I was sure. He then asked for me to open my guitar case and so I did. To my shock, a scabby looking orange sat inside the case, a bit of the peel missing. My heart sank and blood rushed to my head. All the people around me in the queue looked down their noses and the guy´s colleague delighted in telling me about the heavy fines for FRUIT SMUGGLING and that he had asked me three times. “PREGUNTAS TRES VEZ! TRES VEZ!…..TRES VEZ!” Anybody would think it was a shipment of dust. As it happened they let me off with a bollocking. I escaped the “thorough” search that time. Is it me or has the world gone mad. It was an orange.

I heard Hull City beat Arsenal at the Emirates stadium. I also found out that Elbow won the Mercury music award. There is a God.

I travel to New zealand in a week.

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